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Brooklyn

It’s time to wake up and face reality and the world, but first I know I’ve got to choose which world I will face. Will it be Manhattan and be one of Manhattan’s Elite or just be an ordinary lady around the corners of Brooklyn?

 I’ve been very quiet about everything, hiding it all inside and dealing with it all alone. How hard is it to feel the burden and carry it for such a long time and all you can think is how you will let it out. The world has fallen apart and broken into pieces and I don’t have any weapon but strong faith and hope. Hope for things to be better and be able to live life quiet and simple, strong faith for I know only Him can fully understand.

 We’re all empty handed at that point without anyone to turn to but ourselves. Each of us have felt all of the hatred that the world can even share, all of the agony that the world can give and the extreme anger that each of us can let go. Love and respect is not a part of everything anymore, it’s lost and forgotten. Despite of the issues, I still keep my heads up and pretend everything’s alright whenever I’m with my so called friends. Just like little J, I’m afraid of losing everyone but I didn’t think of that real friends will stay whatever will it be.

 Time flies and I felt that I’m going on a rollercoaster ride, things got out of hand and maybe I have forgotten that I don’t belong to the Upper East Side. I’ve spent most of my time with all of them and it drained everything, not that I need to give up some things. As little V shouts “it’s everything you have and now nothings left, what they have are excess”. Sadly, I didn’t listen because I’m having fun and forgetting the sad part.

 I woke up one day without knowing that it will the worst day of my entire life because a scandal awaits me. Gossip Girl visited Brooklyn once again and took everything and left nothing but a lesson. I’ve seen the worst and it hurt not only me but everyone else. How will I fix this? How will I be able to get up again? Since my best friend is not a best friend after all, I have to learn to accept it before she ruined everything that’s left of me. I bet she is happy where she is now because I know she’s very good at one thing and it’s not art but being a plastic.

 This is what GG has left for me to learn, woke me up to face a reality; not all best friends are best after all. And now, things are going well and sadly I can’t be with my family to spend every single happy moment they are sharing right now. I know that in time everything will just be great and thanks to Him for being there keep guiding me.

 Now I’ve made a choice and face the world where I belong. It’s good to have few but loyal and true.

 How about you? Where is it gonna be, Manhattan or Brooklyn?

 

 

14 hours

 It’s September 28, 2008 at 5:45 in the afternoon and the bus had a stopover at a certain gasoline station for the people to use the lavatory. The bus is the same with the normal one but the difference is that it doesn’t have any inclining chairs as what we normally see; but bank beds. Bank beds that would only fit your whole body from edge to edge, it has a blue cushion that is a little bit filthy, mini tattered pillow and a blanket that I don’t know if it’s clean or not. In front of me is a small television with just limited channel to watch and beside me is the window with an off white embroidered curtain. Departure time was 9:30 in the morning going to Nanning City and I didn’t know what to expect yet at that moment, and my boss who is beside me keeps talking about “experience” but he is really annoying. Since last night, I really can’t understand everything he said and he keeps telling me about the “old side” which made me think if there’s a new side. The culture word that keeps coming out in his mouth that for him this is what I have to accept to make my life easier here in China, but nothing makes sense at all.

 At this point, I don’t know where are we neither the two girls who are helping me out most of the time since all of the passengers are locals. We are kind of practicing “charade” because I can’t understand what they are saying. The sun is slowly setting and all I can see are trees, farmers and nothing else.

 The first stop was at a certain restaurant corner with a mini store. We had a stopover at around 12:30pm for lunch and lavatory use. Even if I don’t want to use the lavatory I had no choice because I’m already at the peak of needing to use it. So I went with the girls and the lavatory is terrible, if there will be a word that is worst than terrible then that’s the best way to describe it. I don’t want to elaborate it further because you might get nauseous while imagining it.

I’m just killing time watching gossip girl because I’m having back aches already and so my neck from just staring outside. I’m already hungry and my taste buds are already numb from the taste of the mini bread I brought. Of course I didn’t drink water at all to prevent me from using any of the lavatories. According to them the manager of the shop will meet me at the bus stop and bring me to the hotel where I will stay for 3 days.